Marriage: – When you marry the wrong person

What happens when you marry the wrong person? When you go out to search for a husband or wife and marry?

For man and woman were not created to go out to the world and search for their husband or wife but for God to create and bring the perfect partner to you at the right time. See the qualities of a heavenly perfect partner.

Searching for a husband or wife is a disobedience to God and alters His creation plan in your life. See finding a wife or husband the Biblical way

So you disobeyed God, searched for a  husband or wife and married her/him. You distorted God’s plan of creation in your life.

You have woken up and realized you got an ‘animal’; someone’s ‘Bone of Bones’ ‘Flesh of Flesh’ then what? What do you do? What does the Bible say?

When you marry the wrong person

Let’s learn from Jacob’s story

Jacob, Leah and Rachael story (Gen 29)

Jacob was in the well when he first saw Rachael.

Gen 29:9-10: And while he yet spoke with them, Rachel came with her father’s sheep: for she kept them. And it came to pass, when Jacob saw Rachel the daughter of Laban his mother’s brother, and the sheep of Laban his mother’s brother, that Jacob went near, and rolled the stone from the well’s mouth, and watered the flock of Laban his mother’s brother.

Earlier (Gen 28), Isaac the father of Jacob had instructed him, ‘Arise, go to Padan-aram, to the house of Bethuel thy mother’s father; and take thee a wife from thence of the daughters of Laban thy mother’s brother’ (Gen 28:2).

And Jacob obeyed.

Gen 28:7: And that Jacob obeyed his father and his mother, and was gone to Padan-aram.

The first time Jacob met Rachael, he wept. Why?

Gen 29:11: And Jacob kissed Rachel, and lifted up his voice, and wept.

Jacob saw in Rachel what Adam saw, ‘Bone of his Bones’, ‘flesh of his flesh’, his perfect match from heaven. See finding a husband and wife the Biblical way. When God brings to you the perfect partner He has created for you, you look at her/him and say ‘bone of my bones’, ‘flesh of my flesh’ like Adam.

Jacob loved Rachel thus he chose to serve 7 years for her.

Gen 29:18: And Jacob loved Rachel; and said, I will serve you seven years for Rachel your younger daughter.

Love is patient (1 Cor 13:4). Seven years seemed a few days to Jacob.

Gen 29:20: And Jacob served seven years for Rachel; and they seemed unto him but a few days, for the love he had to her.

After the 7 years Jacob asks Laban to give her Rachael.

Gen 29:21: And Jacob said unto Laban, Give me my wife, for my days are fulfilled, that I may go in unto her.

But in the evening Laban brought Leah to Jacob and Jacob, without knowing its Leah, went into her.

Gen 29:23: And it came to pass in the evening, that he took Leah his daughter, and brought her to him; and he went in unto her.

In the morning Jacob realized it is Leah he has married. He realized he has got the wrong woman, the wrong spouse.

Gen 29:25: And it came to pass, that in the morning, behold, it was Leah.

Some of you your morning came when I taught you how to find a husband or wife the Biblical way and others after getting into marriage, their morning comes and they realize they have married the wrong person.

But due to Jacob love for Rachael, he chose to serve Laban for other seven years and he got two wives; Leah and Rachael.

Since Jacob loves Rachel more than Leah, God makes Rachel barren.

Gen 29:31: And when the LORD saw that Leah was hated, he opened her womb: but Rachel was barren.

Leah conceived severally but Rachel was frustrated and envy developed between the two sisters. Then Rachel said to Jacob, ‘Give me children, or else I die’ (Gen 30:1).

Therefore in conceiving Benjamin, Rachel died.

Gen 35:18: And it came to pass, as her soul was in departing, (for she died) that she called his name Ben-oni: but his father called him Benjamin.

Prayer is not commanding, giving orders or instructing God. What you may be asking God might kill you. His will is the best.

Then Rachel was buried in Bethlehem

Gen 35:19: And Rachel died, and was buried in the way to Ephrath, which is Bethlehem.

Years passes by and Jacob is about to die. He commands his sons to bury him next to Leah not Rachael.

Gen 49:29, 31: And he charged them, and said unto them, I am to be gathered unto my people: bury me with my fathers in the cave that is in the field of Ephron the Hittite. There they buried Abraham and Sarah his wife; there they buried Isaac and Rebekah his wife; and there I buried Leah.

Was this a mistake that Jacob chose to be buried next to Leah, the wrong spouse, the wife he was tricked, not next to Rachael who he loved?

God creation plan of your life in marriage

Leah, Jacob’s wife of trickery (the wrong wife), is the one who gave birth to Judah from whom came Jesus.

That husband or wife you have awakened and realized s/he is the wrong person you married, the time you married her/him in the eyes of God that person became your perfect heavenly husband or wife.

Thus, the time you marry a person, whether s/he is the right or wrong person created for you, in the eyes of God that person becomes your heavenly perfect partner.

Why? Because the two of you have become one flesh and God looks at the two of you and says, ‘perfect’. See how two become one flesh 

Embrace, honor, love her/him no matter how imperfect and hurting s/he is and at the end you will say like Jacob, bury me next to Leah. Right now you may not understand but later you will as I always say, ‘we live life forward but understand it backwards’.

Click to your partner because from that relationship, God is honored. From that relationship, Jesus is revealed to the world. Realize that from Jacob clicking to Leah, Jesus came from her generation.

You will find Jesus in embracing, honoring, loving and living with your partner no mater how imperfect and hurting s/he is.

God hates divorce

When morning comes to some people and they realize that they married the wrong person, they run to divorce. God hates divorce and divorce is a sin.

If now you are divorcing and there is a way you can stop that divorce and click to each other and live together no matter what, do it now.

If you have separated with your spouse, go back and live together.

For those who have already divorced, you have sinned. Stop seeking justification of your sins, explaining to people your spouse failures, do not try to cover your failures, admit you have sinned to God and ask God for the way forward. See how to repent.

The blood of Jesus Christ and His work on the cross is sufficient to clean all your sins. God will redeem you from your sins and mistakes and cover them.

At last you will tell people, touch my wounds, I sinned, I went against God but He has resurrected me again.

For the singles, God has a plan to finish creating you. No matter what the world gives, promises, teaches and tells you, wait! Learn how to find the perfect husband or wife Biblically.

And this is the truth; the Biblical gospel. See what the gospel is and how churches today are not preaching the gospel.

God bless.